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The Hawaii Five-O Lame Limerick Contest
Here there are, folks! In random order! Find your favorite, and then send
email to me and let me know which
one's the worst, which one's the best, and which one is exactly in the middle!
- There once was a man named McGarrett
Who nearly resembled a parrot.
He was Danno's friend
But left, in the end,
To go and consume a small carrot.
- Hawaii Five-O is a troup -
For criminals all they do snoop.
McGarrett and Danno,
And Zulu as Kono
And Chin Ho to round out the group.
- There once was a force named 5-0
With Danny, Kono and Chin Ho
And McGarrett in the lead
They stopped dastardly deeds
Which made for an awesome show !
- Look out! evil-doers, beware!
McGarrett and Danno are there
If crimes you commit.
They'll always outwit
Your cleverest plans, so take care!
Here's one from Bob & Katie Sessler:
- There once was a cop in Hawaii
Who said to the bad guys ``Why try me?´´
Though many a one
Tried with a gun
In the end it was book 'em Danno, ``Murder One´´
And a couple from John Bliss:
- There once was a Chinese Spy Master
Whose head shone like smooth alabaster.
This bald-headed cat
By the name of Wo-Fat
Tried to dump on McGarrett disaster!
- A con by the name of Big Chicken
(Not the kind that is called Finger-Lickin')
Called McGarrett to prison
So the cop would be his'n.
Revenge is just so cotton-pickin'.
Ilya Glinsky offers us this entry:
- 5-0 was filmed on Oahu
A serious wave always rolled on through
With Danno in hand
McGarrett ruled over his land
While reciting verses in Japanese Haiku
From Vic Karpel (email@example.com) comes this entry:
- There once was a black Merc Marquis
McGarrett raced round Waikiki;
He'd stomp on the pedal
Flexing FoMoCo metal,
Till the day he misplaced the key!
From Lawrence Berk aka cyberlim'ricker.calm:
- You've asked for the best of the worst
Of the Five-O lim'ricks which burst
On your web page with pain,
Like an old busted vein,
Reading these just makes us feel cursed.
From Perry "P.J." Colomb <canobeer@Capital.Net>
- There once was a cop named Chin HO
But his name is really Kam Fong
Were the producers just crazy?
It'll always amaze me
With his real name I find nothing wrong!
Victoria <firstname.lastname@example.org> gives us this gem:
- There was once a man called McGarrett,
Who ate nothing but spinnich and carrots.
Untill one day, aghast
He relised his past,
And started eating green eggs and parrots
The following four are from Deana Lisi:
- There once was a guy named Wo Fat
Who's last name describes my gray cat
My cat's name is Danny
It's true - please believe me
'Cause I like Danny more than McGarrett!
There once was a young cop named Danny
Who's good looks, well, seemed to attract me
On the TV I saw him
And wished I could have him
But, (sigh) it must stay a dream.
There once was a murdering man
Of Five-O he was not a big fan
So he tried to kill them
But of course they caught him
So now rot in prison he can.
There once was a guy named Wo Fat
Who must be described as a rat
Steve, Danny, Chin Ho, and Kono,
(Who likes to say Wo Fat's "lolo")
Wished they could just squish him flat.
And some more...
There once was a cop named McGarrett
Who could root out bad guys like a ferret!
He never messed his hair
He didn't even swear
But he was so sexy you couldn't compare it!
The following aren't even close to being limericks but who am I to practise censorship?
HAWAII FIVE-O RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you have your own that you'd like to see on this page,
send it on down!
We can get a whole boatload of these things! <shudder>