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The Hawaii Five-O Lame Limerick Contest

Here there are, folks! In random order! Find your favorite, and then send email to me and let me know which one's the worst, which one's the best, and which one is exactly in the middle!

  1. There once was a man named McGarrett
    Who nearly resembled a parrot.
    He was Danno's friend
    But left, in the end,
    To go and consume a small carrot.

  2. Hawaii Five-O is a troup -
    For criminals all they do snoop.
    McGarrett and Danno,
    And Zulu as Kono
    And Chin Ho to round out the group.

  3. There once was a force named 5-0
    With Danny, Kono and Chin Ho
    And McGarrett in the lead
    They stopped dastardly deeds
    Which made for an awesome show !

  4. Look out! evil-doers, beware!
    McGarrett and Danno are there
    If crimes you commit.
    They'll always outwit
    Your cleverest plans, so take care!

    Here's one from Bob & Katie Sessler:

  5. There once was a cop in Hawaii
    Who said to the bad guys ``Why try me?´´
    Though many a one
    Tried with a gun
    In the end it was book 'em Danno, ``Murder One´´

    And a couple from John Bliss:

  6. There once was a Chinese Spy Master
    Whose head shone like smooth alabaster.
    This bald-headed cat
    By the name of Wo-Fat
    Tried to dump on McGarrett disaster!

  7. A con by the name of Big Chicken
    (Not the kind that is called Finger-Lickin')
    Called McGarrett to prison
    So the cop would be his'n.
    Revenge is just so cotton-pickin'.

    Ilya Glinsky offers us this entry:

  8. 5-0 was filmed on Oahu
    A serious wave always rolled on through
    With Danno in hand
    McGarrett ruled over his land
    While reciting verses in Japanese Haiku

    From Vic Karpel (rbrxvk@rohmhaas.com) comes this entry:

  9. There once was a black Merc Marquis
    McGarrett raced round Waikiki;
    He'd stomp on the pedal
    Flexing FoMoCo metal,
    Till the day he misplaced the key!

    From Lawrence Berk aka cyberlim'ricker.calm:

  10. You've asked for the best of the worst
    Of the Five-O lim'ricks which burst
    On your web page with pain,
    Like an old busted vein,
    Reading these just makes us feel cursed.

    From Perry "P.J." Colomb <canobeer@Capital.Net>

  11. There once was a cop named Chin HO
    But his name is really Kam Fong
    Were the producers just crazy?
    It'll always amaze me
    With his real name I find nothing wrong!

    Victoria <tclotg@yahoo.com> gives us this gem:

  12. There was once a man called McGarrett,
    Who ate nothing but spinnich and carrots.
    Untill one day, aghast
    He relised his past,
    And started eating green eggs and parrots

    The following four are from Deana Lisi:

  13. There once was a guy named Wo Fat
    Who's last name describes my gray cat
    My cat's name is Danny
    It's true - please believe me
    'Cause I like Danny more than McGarrett!

  14. There once was a young cop named Danny
    Who's good looks, well, seemed to attract me
    On the TV I saw him
    And wished I could have him
    But, (sigh) it must stay a dream.

  15. There once was a murdering man
    Of Five-O he was not a big fan
    So he tried to kill them
    But of course they caught him
    So now rot in prison he can.

  16. There once was a guy named Wo Fat
    Who must be described as a rat
    Steve, Danny, Chin Ho, and Kono,
    (Who likes to say Wo Fat's "lolo")
    Wished they could just squish him flat.

    And some more...

  17. There once was a cop named McGarrett
    Who could root out bad guys like a ferret!
    He never messed his hair
    He didn't even swear
    But he was so sexy you couldn't compare it!

The following aren't even close to being limericks but who am I to practise censorship?

    From Beryvo@aol.com:

  • 10-worst
    HAWAII FIVE-O RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have your own that you'd like to see on this page, send it on down! We can get a whole boatload of these things! <shudder>